


What a mess

by Stingpenguin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Based off of Author’s experiences, Blood, Blood and Injury, Hurt Peter Parker, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter doesn’t thing anything about this is wrong, Self Harm, Self-Harm, THIS ENTIRE FIC IS ABOUT SELF HARM, Trans Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 19:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17392298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stingpenguin/pseuds/Stingpenguin
Summary: ••READ THE TAGS••The hum is safe, the soft tinging is safe, the feeling is safe.[The Peter P self-harm fic that i based off my experiences with this]





	What a mess

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS THE MINDSET I HAD TWO YEARS AGO, IT WAS GROSS AND WRONG AND I DIDNT THINK THIS WAS A BAD SITUATION, IT WAS.

**What a mess**

 

Its not a wave of feeling, its not intense and loud, its a slow, almost comforting feeling.

 

_And thats why its so scary._

 

It lures you in, a soft humming on your hip, the ringing in your ears slowly gets louder, and your hand twitches, trying to grab onto something. The fuzziness in your brain brings a soft smile to your face, and you look over to Wanda and nod. “I’m going for a walk, i’ll be back later.” You say, and skip away. Nothing seems _wrong_ , oh no, that feeling comes after. _That_ feeling comes with the feeling of tightness in your chest, the sudden tightness of your skin that makes you want to do it even _more._

 

That feeling is always forgotten by morning.

 

Your skin feels two sizes too small, but you’re lost in the high, the buzz, the comfort, and everything feels  _warm._

 

You take out the small hand-held sharpener and start to unscrew the razor, making sure to keep the plastic part and the screwin view, you’re very forgetful after these little sessions. The roof is comforting and cold, and it sparks an idea in your head. A soft tug of your shirt reveals your torso.

 

_One cut, two cuts._

 

It's not that bad, doesn’t give you the same adrenaline rush though, so ribs and sides are out of the question. Another experimental cut on your stomach pauses the humming.

 

_But you dont want the humming to stop_

 

A dry chuckle and you move the familiar razor back to your hip, you think about doing the right one today, but quickly shake the idea away. You favor the right side, dont want anyone catching on. You quickly lose track of how many cuts there is today, but that doesn’t matter, because before you know it you’re back of the tower, and your body feels like it isn’t part of this realm.

 

You slip back into the Avengers weekly ‘movie night’ without any trouble, and a genuine smile on your face. You know the super-soldiers and Clint can vaguely smell blood, and Wanda’s powers are lightly prodding the edge of your mind, but you dont care.

 

_Because you’re not doing anything wrong_


End file.
